Nice Try

Anyone who still thinks Lysol covers up the smell of your body's disapproval of your lunch is living a fairy tale. When you have an office that is 10x10 and no ventilation other than your door, it is even harder to cover that up. Lysol just insults peoples intelligence. Here are a couple of solutions to your hopeless situation:
1. Go to the God damn bathroom.
2. Let it happen, and let people enter at their own risk. Act casual. Looking nervous leads people to think you are covering something up (i.e. A Fart).
3. Cut back on franchise food.
4. Permanently install air fresheners that can be bought at any local drug store. That way, you can blame your garbage.
5. Blame the garbage, but make sure you have a brown bag in there as a decoy.
6. Eat healthier. Studies have shown that water and vegetables flushes the system of toxins, aka red meat.
7. Leave your office or cubicle immediately. This will confuse people. But be sure to count to 10 before leaving. Otherwise you will trail that demon wherever you go.
8. Don't play dumb. You will look dumb.
9. The Olfactory System works from birth. It has lots of practice and can seldom be fooled.
10. Shutting the door behind you contains what firemen call a backdraft.
11. Fanning the air creates an invisible perimeter. However, it stays long after the deed is done. Thus, busting you.